Tuesday, August 19, 2008

At the Altar

We arrived in Sheffield on Monday for the Methodist induction course, which offers an introduction to The Methodist Church for those clergy like ourselves who have other Church affiliations.  This is the first of our official duties since our arrival in England almost two weeks ago.

We are in good company with others from Mozambique, the United States (Oregon and Maryland), England, Gambia, and South Africa.  We have already been enriched by this global fellowship.  In fact, our daughter has become fast friends with the other children from Gambia and Mozambique.  She commented very sweetly this afternoon that she wanted to go and play with her "sister."  (Her little girl heart offers wisdom that seems far from little.)

As we all arrived yesterday (of course after sharing a cup of tea), we gathered together and centered our hearts and lives.  It was a welcome moment when we met one another for the first time at the altar.

We encircled the holy space and, despite the differences, instantly found common ground.  And it was on this common ground of Christ where I was given new perspective in the midst of this new journey.  I experienced several things in and through this worship.

First, I realized that I have very effectively disengaged from community and practices that shape and sustain my life.  On one hand, this disengagement is rather important because my transition out of my appointment necessitated that I find pastoral distance from the church that I called home.  On the other hand, this disengagement propelled me into too distant of a place where I was closed off to the purpose of my life in faith and even to God.  I was in need of a new openness and engagement with my faith.

It was yesterday at the altar where the common ground of Christ gave me renewed faith.

Second, I envisioned more clearly than ever before why I have come with my family to England.  Yes, I have come to experience new culture.  Yes, I have come to seek adventure.  Yes, I have come to reconnect with friends.  But really, I have come to live out active ministry.  I have come by way of God's prompting to offer my gifts in a Church that is unique to me.  I have come because I believe that God will use me and challenge me in new ways to share the good news.

It was yesterday at the altar where the common ground of Christ gave me renewed vision.

Third, I recognized that I have been functioning in a mode of survivalism simply to make it through.  And although this has been somewhat necessary, such survivalism depletes energy and spirit.  I have allowed myself to be depleted by closing myself off for the sake of making it through.  But now, I have caught a fresh glimpse of my deep desire to do more than just survive.  I want to seek life-giving practices that fill me instead of deplete me.

It was yesterday at the altar where the common ground of Christ gave me renewed life.

Renewed faith.
Renewed vision.
Renewed life.

I was offered these gifts at the altar yesterday, and now I am reminded that they will carry me forward.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

this is a gorgeous piece, almost poetic, and deeply insightful. i wish you longevity in such renewal!

xicox said...

"I have caught a fresh glimpse of my deep desire to do more than just survive. I want to seek life-giving practices that fill me instead of deplete me...."
Best inspiring quote ever!