Welcome, birthdays!

We just returned from a wonderful, much-needed vacation to the Scottish Highlands. We spent 9 days just outside of Grantown-on-Spey and Aberlour right along the whisky trail and even reconnected with dear friends in our old stomping grounds of St. Andrews. We had been to the Highlands previously but only for short breaks at different destinations. So, an extended stay was a lovely change of pace. We were more than happy to spend the long, dark mornings by the fire and the long, dark evenings by the fire. And in between during the short, windy days, we explored beyond the fireplace.

In addition to the joy of a relaxing, family vacation, we had reason to celebrate. It was the Amy and Timothy birthday season. It was a very special experience to celebrate our respective birthdays in the Highlands of Scotland and to welcome 35 in such a memorable way!! Highlands or not--wonderful memories or not, I still can't help but stumble ever so slightly along the number 35 and wonder if I could really possibly be talking about myself.

I have always thought that only other people should be in their thirties, not me. Do you know what I mean? Have you ever felt this about your particular age? I guess it is all about a perception of age really, and for some reason, I find it rather difficult to perceive myself as a thirty-something year old. I can see my sister as a thirty-something year old. I can see my brothers-in-law as thirty-something year olds. But me? When did this happen...? Okay, so I know when it has happened because it happens every year at the same time, but somehow I still feel like a twenty-something that has fit a thirty-something worth of stuff into her life.

Yes, it happens every year at the same time on January 9th. My birthday roles around 15 days after Christmas while everyone is very comfortably in a post-Advent/Christmas/New Year fog. If not careful, this January 9th birthday of mine can be very sneaky. Generally, people are very kind to remember me in the midst of the post-seasonal madness, especially my hubby, who happens to share my birthday one day delayed. Being that Timothy celebrates his birthday on January 10th, he understands all too well what it means to welcome a new birthday year in the midst of seasonal haze.

At this point, I am not sure how either of us can really be 35. It's not that I think 35 is old, but it is in some strange way that percieved age of other people. Maybe it isn't so much the age as it is all of the adult things that go along with 35 for us. Maybe it is the vocational life in ordained ministry (i.e. full time jobs). Maybe it is the picking up and moving thousands of miles from home. Maybe it is the almost 13 years of marriage, 17 years of commitment. and 18 years of friendship. Maybe it is the home mortgage. Maybe it is the almost 3 year old in our household. Yes, maybe it is the almost 3 year old...

Now that I think about it, maybe it has less to do with the actual number and more to do with the circumstances and responsibilities of life that we claim at 35. And in the midst of it all, my hope is to hold firmly to my carefree, exciting twenty-something spirit that I remember so vividly while at the same time being a joyful, responsible adult, wife, and mother. Without a doubt, I have welcomed 35 with a grateful heart, and despite the strange perception that it brings, I happily share it with my wonderful and generous husband and give thanks for our journey together.

As I once again watched January 9th and 10th come and go with a beautiful view of the hills of Scotland before me, I realized that our soon-to-be 3 year old was more excited about our birthdays than we were. My perceptions didn't matter. She didn't care if it was 35 or 350. The age was irrelevant to her. Birthdays to her no matter what the year are just plain thrilling!! We drew from her energy and welcomed 35 with even more thankfulness!

And now she is waiting with excitment for her own special day! When that time comes, we will happily welcome yet another birthday and will be the responsible, 35 year old adults, who make the practices of birthday joy come to life for the newly 3 year old girl! Welcome, birthdays!